To: Mr. David R. Cook.
From: Wordnerd International Headquarters
Date: September 27, 2008.

the Wordnerds are sure that you are well aware of the economic recession as of late. However, I do not believe that you took that into consideration prior to releasing Light On. Now, women across America, young and old, feel an obligation to "turn on a light on when you're gone." Because of your irresponsible actions, we unanimously hold you responsible for our electricity bills. We also accuse you of our water bills. Your alleged sexiness is engaging women across the world to take multiple cold showers on a daily basis. This is both unfair and unjust,

Our electricity bills have skyrocketed, and our water bills are dramatically increasing. The Wordnerd International Headquarters propose, first and foremost, that you keep your sexiness to yourself. Also, we suggest that you immediately put out an official statement regarding your new single, Light on- that this song should not be taken literally. Finally, we demand that, because of your selfish manipulations to innocent women, who are desperately trying to get a real life, that you take responsibility to pay 50% of each of the Wordnerd's energy bills. If you do not oblige to our urgent suggestions, then we will go on strike, by turning off all of our lights until further notice. Thank you for your considerations.

-- Wordnerd International Headquarters