So one day I was taking a peek in the “Off Topic” forum of this very website when I saw a topic posted entitled “Ryan Star at Stocker Center 10-20-09.” My heart stopped. Could it be…? First David Cook comes to my home county in May, now Ryan Star is headlining here? I knew I had to do everything in my power to get there.

I invited my sister, who had come with me to my original excursion to a Ryan Star headlining show back in August at the Grog Shop in Cleveland. She eagerly agreed to come. I asked my husband Eric, but sadly he is deep in the throes of coaching diving at a nearby college, and his practices run from 6 to 7 p.m. The show was at 7:30 – there was simply no way he could make it. I also decided to invite my companion to the last concert I had attended in Elyria, Stevie. I had bought a Ryan Star CD for her at that show, and in the interim it had become her favorite CD. She jumped at the chance to come.

I had invited two others as well: Danielle’s boyfriend Neil (it’s so hard not to type “Neal” these days! Lol) and any friend Stevie wanted to bring. She invited the boy who had been her date to homecoming. Neil wasn’t available as he was visiting his brother, who lives in Italy. As for Stevie’s friend… well, talk about your epic fail. The boy was supposed to be at Stevie’s house by 4:30, which was when I planned to pick them up. *At* 4:30, after Stevie’s unsuccessful attempts to contact him, he texted her, saying he couldn’t come because he couldn’t pay for a ticket. I told her to text him back that I was paying his way, he needed pay not a dime. I proceeded to drive around the block for the next 10 minutes, waiting to see what he would say and if I needed to pick him up. I had told her that if she didn’t hear back from him by 4:45, we were leaving without him.

At 4:45 she asked if I could drive to another friend’s house to see if *she* could come. It was on the way, so I did. No dice. As we were leaving Mansfield (and I was mumbling snarkily about her unreliable friend) he *finally* texted back, sounding eager to be picked up. But by then it was too late. I had to get Kiersten to a chorus rehearsal in Ashland (about 25 minutes away) and I wasn’t about to risk being late for that. OR for Ryan’s show.

Ah well, it’s only money, right?

Drove us to Ashland, met up with my mother, who would watch Elena during Kiersten’s choral rehearsal and would then drive the two of them to her house to watch them until I could come retrieve them. Then off we went to Elyria. We made excellent time, met up with Danielle at Stocker Center, and off we went to find our seats.

In May, Stevie and I had sat up in the “mezzanine” area to enjoy Ryan and David’s sets. But here, we were in the FOURTH ROW. Yeah, baby! I had picked tickets on Artie’s side because I had so enjoyed watching him in Cleveland. This gave me the perfect vantage point not only for Ryan but also for Artie – and for the lovely Dallin (Ryan’s keyboardist and the only woman in the band) as well.

So at just about 7:35, Ryan appeared on the stage and sat at the piano. He began to engage us in conversation immediately, which I think he regretted because when I spoke back to him (I don’t even remember what I said), he looked right at me and said “No more talking.” Oops! I was like “Sorry, my bad.”

And then he played “We Might Fall.”

OMG. This was the one song in his arsenal I had never heard live and had *always* wanted to. It was absolutely magnificent and gorgeous! I barely even looked at him most of the time as he performed. I just closed my eyes and mouthed the words and felt utterly swept away.

A little sidenote here: my Twitter friend Becky had asked the previous day if I would be willing to call her for a private cellcast of one Ryan song. Happy to indulge a fellow Ryan fan, I said “sure!” and asked her which song. She told me We Might Fall or Losing Your Memory (which are precisely the two songs I would have chosen if I were asking – we are clearly on the same Ryan wavelength!). So when Ryan sat at the piano I had a very strong feeling we were about to get one or the other, so as Ryan was wrapping up his comments I quickly called Becks. And then, after We Might Fall had ended… I just left the phone on. I don’t really know why… maybe because I couldn’t bear hanging up on her? Maybe because I think she’s awesome and I thought she’d really enjoy a private cellcast? Who knows. I just got the urge to do it and I went for it. I think she appreciated it.

Anyway… after that the band came out, and Ryan busted out “Right Now" and made me lose my mind during. Not only because it is a rocking and incredibly inspirational song (as so many of them are), but Ryan actually left his mic stand, came WAAAAAY over to the side of the stage that was right in front of me, and sang DIRECTLY to me. Okay, he might have been singing to Stevie or Danielle, but this is my recap and I say he was singing to ME. It sure felt that way, anyway. I could barely breathe.

After “Right Now” came “Brand New Day.” This is Stevie’s favorite song, so she promptly began to lose her mind. And after “Brand New Day” came “11:59,” which I need NOW. I think I’ve heard this song performed at every Ryan show I’ve attended (headlining and opening), and it is such a powerful song.

I *think* Ryan performed “Last Train Home” after “11:59.” To be honest it is very difficult to remember the order of the songs he performed because a) no set list and b) it all kind of blended and melded into one big steaming vat of awesome. All I can really tell you for sure about part I of Ryan Star, Reloaded is that he was incredible and the band was tighter than tight. I *am* pretty sure he performed “The One You Know” in this part of the show. I had forgotten what a sensual song that was. The bass and drum in that song is just… well, frankly, erotic. Add Ryan’s luscious vocals and I was starting to feel a little NC-17. *blush*

The second part of the show, like it was at the Grog Shop, was acoustic. The first song he performed was “You and Me,” which I had never heard before, but clearly *someone* had because one of the ladies in front of the stage requested it. I don’t think it was a Stage song because he later performed a song called “Flag,” which he said *was* a Stage song. What was cute about this song is that he couldn’t really remember the lyrics, and after a few lines he stopped and said “Anyone know the rest of the lyrics?” Someone called out a line and he said “no, that comes later.” Then I guess someone gave him the proper next line, and he said “okay, I’m going to start over.” Meanwhile his guitar tech (Michelle, I think is her name?) was charged with writing out the lyrics. So after the first verse she came running out with a few sheets of paper and placed them on the floor in front of Ryan. He said “Give it up for [Michelle?]” and we all cheered. Then he sang the rest of the song. It was such a funny and real moment.

Anyway, “You and Me” was beautiful and romantic, and when he sang it I felt like we were the only people in the room. Ryan really has a gift for that.

I believe next he performed “Head Like a Hole,” which as you may know is a Nine Inch Nails song. He performed it in Cleveland as well, and like last time I was blown away by how he turned this alternative/hard rock/borderline metal song into a painfully honest, wistful, yet utterly defiant song just with his guitar and his caressing vocals. He also performed “Somebody’s Son,” I think it’s called, and I’m not sure where this song came from, but he puts so much passion into it. It was such a revelation.

One of the funniest parts of the show came when he performed “Famous Yet.” He asked for someone to come on stage and play the tambourine. Fameho that I am, I raised my hand, and both Danielle and Stevie were pointing at me. (Because they are enablers.) But then a little girl – she might have been 6 or 7 – raised her hand, and I immediately began pointing at her, like a lot of others of us did. Ryan said, “Oh, now you guys are going to make me feel bad if I don’t choose the little girl!” It was so cute the way he said it. He said “never mind, don’t volunteer, I’m just going to choose someone.” He wound up choosing one lady, then inviting a second who swore up and down it was her birthday up to the stage. He told the second lady that he would tell her when she could play (after his guitar tech handed her a little shaker) and showed the first lady how to play the tambourine, since evidently she didn’t know how. She got the hang of it quickly, though, and Ryan began playing and she began tambourining and we were all clapping to help her find the beat.

But then, I don’t know WHAT happened, I think she stopped. I’m guessing she lost the beat and couldn’t find it again, so in lieu of tambourining she just sort of started dancing around. It was pretty funny, but Ryan turned it into an HYSTERICAL moment when he looked at her with a “WTH???” look on his face. He stopped playing and yoinked the tambourine out of her hand and said, “Get the hell off the stage!” I about died laughing. It was too funny. Like she’d just been gonged. (I suppose I should feel sorry for her, it was probably embarrassing, but I don’t, really. If it had been me I’d just have been happy I’d had the chance to be on stage with him at all!)

He then handed the tambourine to the Birthday Woman and she helped him finish the song. He even showed her with his opposite (ie non-guitar-strumming) hand when she should shake the tambourine rather than slap it. Afterwards he hugged her, wished her a happy birthday, and sent her on her way. She left the stage, I imagine, one very happy birthday girl.

Later he played a Stage song, as I mentioned earlier, called “Flag.” He said he and his band had actually written it prior to 9/11, but it turned out to be eerily prophetic with regard to what the song’s subject matter was. He also told us a story from that day about walking through NYC and seeing all these people running and crying and covered in soot and debris. He saw two girls who were sobbing hysterically, and as they walked by a shoe store they stopped briefly, and one of them said “there are the shoes I was telling you about!” And he said they admired the shoes and were smiling for a moment, then left and were back to crying about what had happened. He said in that moment, he knew that as horrible as things were right then, we as a people would eventually heal because we’re just like that – resilient even in the face of the most horrific tragedy. He didn’t use those exact words, but I think that’s what he was trying to say.

He also said “I knew we’d get back to a time when stilettos would be important again,” and just because I thought that was a cute thing to say, I “WHOO”’d at this. And Ryan looked at me and said, “You like that, right?” And then I laughed. Because honestly I hate stilettos. But I love Ryan, so it’s all good.

Anyway, “Flag” was as transcendent as any breathtakingly meaningful song Ryan has ever written or performed. It was the one song that brought tears to my eyes last night.
The last song he performed in part 2 of his set was “Everybody Knows,” a Leonard Cohen song. I have never heard Leonard Cohen sing, but after hearing this song twice (I heard it in Cleveland too) I kind of want to. Leonard is Ryan’s favorite singer, and anyone who has inspired Ryan is someone I obviously need to listen to.

When the band returned to the stage, Ryan performed “Sink or Swim,” “Psycho Suicidal Girls” (oh yeah baby!!), and “Back of Your Car.” The last song is, I think, the sexiest song in Ryan’s formidable arsenal. As he had the last time I saw him, he pulled several people up on the stage with him. However, this time he did it before he started singing. And the first person he invited to the stage was a gentleman named Scott, at his very first Ryan Star show, who played the guitar. He took off his guitar and let Scott play it (can you IMAGINE, playing guitar on stage with a bona fide rock star??), and I have to say he was pretty good. Then he began pulling more people on the stage. I held up my hands but I guess I wasn’t pretty enough for Ryan to choose. (KIDDING, Ryan!)

I REALLY wished I had been one of the chosen ones when Ryan let everyone (including the band, ha!) on the stage have a seat there for his final song of the night. You may have heard that Ryan played “Breathe” on the piano. Yes. Yes, he did. And yes, he took my breath away. I caught video of this poignant, beautiful, moving, emotional, passionate point in time in which singer and song became one, the song a mound of clay truly coming to life in the hands of the master potter. Ryan didn’t sing “Breathe” last night. He LIVED it. It was a moment I will truly never forget.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YdpcizSBfo

And with that, the most magnificent concert I have ever witnessed was over.

My full album of photos from the show is here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=37757&id=1465749134&l=d3a2f458d7

And some samples:

Danielle and I went our separate ways at that point. She had to work the next day, and she had already met Ryan and purchased his CDs in Cleveland, so she didn’t feel the need to stick around. As for me, well, even if Stevie hadn’t been there, wild horses couldn’t have kept me from staying, buying the EP (even though I had the MP3s, I wanted a CD to play in my car), and talking to Ryan again. I also wanted a chance to meet the rest of the band, which I hadn’t had in Cleveland. Stevie had never before met Ryan, and she wanted to get her Elephant CD signed, so for that reason alone staying wasn’t optional. It was mandatory!

We got in line to buy the CDs (I wanted to buy Stevie an EP as well), and as I purchased them the guitar tech (who was manning the merch table) complimented my hair. That’s always fun! As I pulled out my cash Stevie began to have the shakes beside me. I look up and there is Ryan standing right next to me, preparing to sign for people. Good grief! You’d think I’d have been able to just feel his presence, right? ;D

Stevie was so funny. After I bought our CDs I prepared to go to Ryan to have him sign them and get our pictures taken. She was like, “Shouldn’t we wait?” I said “wait for what?” She said, “I think all these people were in front of us.” I turned and did see people kind of standing around, but none of them were making a move toward Ryan. If I’d “waited” for them I might still be there! (Okay, probably not, but still.) I just shrugged and went to Ryan and told him his show was wonderful tonight. He thanked me, said he was glad to be back in Ohio, and thanked us for coming. I kind of rambled for a bit about how excited I had been to have the opportunity to see him again, about how I went a little nuts when I found out he was coming back to Ohio. To his credit Ryan looked absolutely tickled to hear this.

I then asked if I could get a photo with him, and he said of course. Stevie teasingly said “you just want to get another hug from him!” Of course when Ryan heard that he put his arm around me and gave me a warm squeeze. (GUH. Seriously, is there any wonder I am head over heels for this man?) Stevie was having trouble with the camera (I teased her about this the rest of the night), and as a result we didn’t get the photo right away. Not that I minded, because the entire time Stevie and I were trying to work out the camera, Ryan kept touching me. And let me tell you, Ryan touching Nicole = one very happy Nicole. Just sayin’.

Finally we got it worked out, and Stevie took the photo. Sigh.

After she took the photo, I said to Ryan, “Oh gosh. Breathe.” He gave this adorable smile and said, “Did you like it on the piano?” I told him I absolutely loved it, it was gorgeous. He then reminded me about the video premiere tomorrow (today!) and I told him I was so excited about it. I may have squeed whilst doing so.

He then signed my EP, and afterwards he moved on to Stevie, who told him about her actress aspirations. We joked about Ryan casting Stevie in a video someday. (Could you imagine??) Ryan asked Stevie her age, and she told him she was 16. I then said to him, “Thank you for not asking my age.” (This was a joke, I wouldn’t have cared if he had! I’m 35 and proud to be in the prime of my life, darn it.)

After he signed her CDs, I took a photo of the two of them. And I was thrilled that Stevie had received the opportunity to meet her favorite singer.

I told Stevie I wanted to meet Artie and Dan, who were right behind Ryan, so over to them we went. I asked them if they would sign my EP first, and they both joked “Who’s this?” and purposefully mispronounced both “Breathe” and “EP” and were generally the silliest goofs ever. I loved them immediately.

Then came what, to me, was a magical fangirl moment. Artie caught sight of my JoeyPick necklace and asked, “Whose pick are you wearing?” I told him, “This is Joey Clement’s!” Artie picked it up to take a closer look, and I told him and Dan the story about having picks made for Joey’s birthday, and I told them about how Joey had thrown them into the crowd for quite some time. They were duly impressed and both told me what a great guy Joey is. Not that I needed to be told this (of course!), but it was just such a pleasure for me to hear from two musicians I admire how wonderful my very favorite musician is. Just made me so happy.

Then I got my photo with Artie and Dan, and that made me pretty happy too.

Stevie got a photo with them as well, after getting both of her CDs signed. And yes, they made the whole silly “Breathe EP??” joke again. I love these boys.

Stevie and I then caught up with Dallin, who is really WAY more beautiful in person. She’s also really sweet and genuine. She complimented my hair too (must be a girl thing, I think I’m driving the dudes away with the blue, oh well… LOL). When she signed our CDs and heard Stevie’s name (her first name is actually Stevie Rae), Dallin immediately assumed it was because of Stevie Ray Vaughn. (It isn’t.) She got such a kick out of the real story behind Stevie’s full name that she got Artie and Dan’s attention and told them the story: “Stevie” is for her paternal grandfather; “Rae” is her mother’s middle name, and “Nicole” (*her* middle name) is for, and I quote: “Michael Jackson’s brother’s baby with my grandmother.” No one knows WHICH MJ brother, apparently. Artie immediately piped up: “Tito. It HAD to be Tito.” That made me laugh, hard. I don’t know why. I think it was just the authoritative way in which Artie said it. Have I mentioned that I love Artie?

Dallin also told us an interesting story behind *her* name, which is that her mother just made it up. She never knew anyone else who had it, unsurprisingly, but when the Internet hit big, she Googled it one day and discovered a SLEW of Dallins, who are, interestingly enough: 1) Mormon, and 2) male. Dallin herself is of Jewish ancestry, and somehow she wound up with a name popular with Mormon boys.

(BTW, a bit of fail on my part: I was so engrossed in Dallin and Stevie’s discussion of their respective names that I completely forgot to take a photo of them together. DUH. Sorry Stevie!!)

Finally we met up with Eli, the drummer who is FAR more gorgeous up close than I ever could have realized. He signed our CDs, and he too noticed my JoeyPick necklace. I once again told him the story, and he meanwhile told me how much he liked Joey. He said, “He’s with Selena Gomez’s band now, did you know that?” I told him yes, and I also told him that I was Joey’s biggest fan and there’s not much about him I *don’t* know. (Which is not precisely, entirely true, but never mind.)

With that, we knew we had gotten everything we could have asked for and more from this concert, and so the two of us headed out the door and were off to pick up my girlios from my parents’ house and go home.

I don’t really know how to sum up this show properly. Ryan is the most electrifying performer I have ever seen on stage, period. He has without a doubt become my favorite singer. (Please know, David Cook fans, that I have not abandoned David in saying this. Anyone who knows me well should know that I have plenty of room in my heart for many, many outstanding musicians!) His band is filled with not only amazing musicians but genuine and very likable people who are clearly every bit as appreciative of their fans as Ryan is.

My fondest hope is for Ryan to find a supernova’s worth of success (pun unintentional but not bad if you ask me!). Not only because Ryan and his band are incredible human beings who deserve this kind of success, but because the music that they make is not merely enjoyable, it is inspirational. And I’ll even go a step further and say it is LIFE CHANGING. I dare anyone to attend a headlining show of Ryan’s and not walk away from it feeling like their lives have been irrevocably altered. His music affirms life, the power of love, and the power of human beings to make a difference in the world around them. This is why I love Ryan Star. This is why I support him. And this is why I will be his fan until the end of time.