When I was younger, I remember having this desire to learn how to write. I had wanted to learn how to write well. I discovered I could often write whenever I wanted to, but not always whenever I needed to. I had also noticed that my writing was never always decent. Sometimes, I tend to ramble a bit and my writing loses it's continuity. When it came to putting my thoughts to paper, I constantly found myself fumbling, musing, searching. I was searching for the meaning of things, and at the same time (though I wasn't consciously aware of it) I was trying to figure out who I really was.

I had wanted to write because I wanted to tell my story. Just like my writing, my life's story changed over the years. There were times when it was happy, there were also times when it was sad. Bad things happen sometimes. I assumed I was level-headed...that I could take whatever life threw at me, I was wrong. I changed. It was as if a part of me died. I had become what previously I feared the most...I had become a monster.

Monsters revel in mischief. They feed off the misery of other people. Monsters are constantly angry, for several years...that was me. Good thing though, at some point even monsters realize that there will be consequences for their actions. There will be hell to pay, so to speak.

As I began to question whether my cold, stoic, indifferent existence was worth it, I had realized that I was constantly surrounded by good-natured, caring, compassionate individuals.They never gave up on me. It was good that they didn't , because eventually I had learned to shed off my anger. I had also realized that bad things did not only happen to me, they also happened to the people around me. I had realized, though I didn't know how to react to it at that time, that they needed my help. People needed this monster, and the monster was more than willing to make amends. I have them to thank for my new lease on life.

It was such as relief that as I was coming out of the darkness, here comes the light.

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on