My 420
APRIL 20, 2009, 2:37 am
After the topic of 420 has been brought up a few times on DWoP I knew I wanted to share a story but didn't know the appropriate time or way to do so. I don't want to drag the thread down or make it all about me but I do want to share something personal to me with all my friends and this right now feels like the appropriate time and place so please bear with me.
420 to me means April 20th, and more specifically April 20th, 1999. Yes, that is the day of the Columbine shootings and one day that I can honestly say was the hardest day of my life. My husband (then boyfriend) was a senior at Columbine that day. We had been dating for a year and a half and I attended another high school just a couple miles away. I was about ready to leave for the day when someone told me a drive by shooting had happened at Columbine. I was instantly scared but was appeased by the thought that he would have been in class at the time. Someone turned the TV on and the news was reporting a shooting and hostage situation inside the building. I knew immediately that something could have happened to my husband and I fled the school. I had to have my mom pick me up because the parking lot was locked down. I then watched it all unfold on TV for 5 or 6 hours at home. My friends kept calling from my school and each time I heard the phone ring I'd get my hopes up that it was my husband. I finally got a hold of his sister, a junior at the school, that evening and she told me they were all fine but they each had lost friends. It was a long week until I was able to see my husband again. He had little time to talk because the news crew, family and counselors were constantly at his house. The police required an ID to get into his neighborhood. The media and police took up every square inch of the neighborhood, park and surrounding area. The first time I saw my husband again is when he picked me up 4 days later for my prom. I sat at dinner and cried my eyes out the entire time. I didn't even want to go to prom but just rather just sit in the car for hours. Its not something you truly ever get over or forget as I'm sure many people who have dealt with tragedy in their life can attest to.
I don't bring this up to specifically reference any talk about 420 and the clock in the ydniW video. It is either a coincidence or a humorous reference to weed and that is what that number means for most people and that is more than acceptable. I just wanted to share the story about what I think of every time I see the numbers 420 and felt it was appropriate to do so on the 10 year anniversary as today is April 20th.
Thank you for listening.
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Comments for this Blog post
Enlightenment
QueenJ ~ I came here tonight to check out your profile. I was simply wondering about this intelligent woman who always gives out such measured, thoughtful insights. I certainly didn't expect to discover that you potentially could have lost your sweetheart that awful day 10 years ago. I tend to imagine everyone here so happy, living such carefree lives. Obviously, you've emotionally been through the mill. I cannot even begin to imagine the horror and fear you must have experienced that day. I don't even WANT to attempt to imagine it. But clearly, it's all a part of what has made you so wise, so patient, and so understanding. I suppose it's cuts like these that turn coal into diamonds. You possess a sparkling soul, QueenJ, so you should never need to personally witness such darkness again. We learn so much from you, and I thank you!
Thanks for sharing
I understand how painful such memories are. I lost a number of friends and co-workers in the Pentagon on 9/11. The event changed me completely and sometimes it seems as if no one who hasn't gone through such a horrific event can understand what it does to your soul. I'm glad your husband was safe and I hope you have many years together filled with love.
More Hugs
QueenJ, I saw some footage of Columbine on the news here this morning and it gave me chills. I can't imagine the sheer horror of watching that unfold and knowing that someone you love is in there. I'm glad you got your boy back.
*hugs*
Hugs
QuuenJ, thanks for sharing your story of 420 with us. My younger one was still in high school and I was very involved volunteering there. I remember that day, the feelings of disbelief, sadness and confusion. How could such a thing happen in our schools. Innocence was killed that day and the schools were never the same. Everything changed. I can only imagine how horrific it was for your and your husband. I know from my own experiences it's hard to overcome such events in our lives, the haunting memories, but the best way is to celebrate your love and your life together. Wishing you all the best.
--
Leda
Short of breath?
I hope so, as I'm sending the biggest cyberspace hug possible....[[[[[[squeeze]]]]]]]]
Thank you for sharing
Columbine is among many events that are seared in my memory, but I am thankful that none are because of a involvement or connection. I cannot imagine what it was like for you to have lived through this, and I thank you for sharing your story to bring home the personal nature of these tragic events for me. I wish you and your husband all the best, and offer you both hugs as you confront your memories today.
--
"Take a minute just to breathe..."
TIF# √D; WTFU; Consecutive song lists - tell me yours
Hugs
As others have said I too remember watching the events unfold that day. I just remember feeling horrible and actually crying for those who were going through this (students and faculty inside and family outside). I am so sorry that you and your husband had to experience this. I truly believe it is things like this that only make us stronger. Hugs to you and your husband. Prayers to those who lost friends and loved ones. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us.
--
Shelly
Out of the ashes comes hope
Queen J - Thank you for sharing your story on this tenth anniversary of a tragic day. I have a daughter your age and remember how horrified we were as we tried to understand how this could happen and why. I also have a son whose birthday is September 11th, which is also my parent's anniversary, and the dates will forever be tainted by tragedy. What these dates also do is remind me of the wonderful outpouring of support and compassion. Our Sunday paper ran an article about Rachel Scott, the first victim killed in the Columbine massacre. Just the month before, Rachel wrote an essay that challenges us to look for "the best and beauty in everyone." She promotes compassion and ends, "you just may start a chain reaction." I'm sure you have heard of Rachel's Challenge, but this was my first time experiencing this wonderful girl's message. I applaud her family's quest to change peoples hearts and to give their daughter's short life meaning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rmm_-gnU3Y
Thanks!
Thanks everyone for your hugs, thoughts and stories. I'm glad I shared my blog and story with you all. We all have personal stories and I'm so glad we have this community to share them in.
Thanks for Sharing
Thanks for sharing. This was an event that changed part of our everyday lives. I was teaching in the Midwest at the time and it impacted all the schools emotionally and physically. My thoughts are with your family because these memories will always be there.
--
lovethemusic
Hugs QJ
Thanks for sharing that story...many hugs to you...
--
--AheadofStraight
π + e
Peace to you and your husband, QueenJ.
I know very well how anniversaries resonate throughout the years. I was involved in a tragic dormitory fire in 1977, during which 10 of my floormates were killed (and I barely escaped). It's been over 30 years since then and the experience still haunts....I think of them every time I meet a milestone in my life, and the days surrounding the December anniversary are still difficult each year.
Guess that wasn't very uplifting! But know that I'll hold a special thought for you both today.
Thanks for sharing
My thoughts are with you on this sad anniversary. I agree with whoever said that experiencing that has helped make you and your husband the people you are today. Hold each other close and be grateful you have each other.
--
You teach me to rise up.
I understand.......
having worked across the street from the twin towers and seeing 9/11 first-hand, I COMPLETELY understand your feelings. I managed to get out of downtown manhattan before the towers fell and called my mother, but neglected to tell her where i was, just that i was ok.....she watched the towers fall while on the phone with my father, not knowing if I was still there - didn't know if i survived......scary, scary stuff that I think will always stay with you......
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Jersey Girl Amigas Love Cookie!
A warm hug across the miles
QueenJ - thank you for sharing your memory. I remember that horrible event too as it unfolded on the tv screen, but by sharing your thoughts, you've made it all the more real for me. I have no wise words for you, because I'm just not talented that way, but I'm sending you a warm virtual virtual hug and one for your DH too. I'm certain that the tragedy that touched you both that day has helped to shape you into the person you are today.
Laura
tough memories
Memory is a strange and powerful thing. A small passing thing like a date, a number, or a name can bring back the past. Can't imagine how hard such a horrible, dark event must have been for you kids who had it happen right around you. I think it's good that you acknowledge it and let it out. Best to you both on a bad anniversary,
--
kaydeecee
Remembrance
I cried for your, and our, loss of innocence that day. We must not forget. (((Hugs))) to you and your DH.
Big ole hugs
There are a few dates we truly can never forget - nor should we. As someone who lost friends on 9/11, my wedding anniversary, I can relate only too well. As a recently proclaimed CJT'er, I am a big believer in taking that negative power away from the number, and taking the time to remember happy times with lost ones and more deeply appreciating those we love that are still here. I am so happy to hear you and your hubby have been together ten years now. In part that horrible tragedy shaped who you are - and we all think you're insightful, sensitive and smart with just the right splash of snark. Hope you have a great, loving and meaningful day today!. Love - the Yak
Blessings
I too remember watching that horrible event unfold on TV that day - I remember I was at a training class for work. Prayers go out to you, your husband and family for a long love-filled life together. God Bless,
Annette
Hugs
I remember watching the horrible events of that day on the news. I can not imagine what it would have been like to actually go through it or to know the families that were affected by it. It must have been very difficult for you. I will be thinking about all those who lost loved ones in that tragedy today. Sending hugs to all of you.
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G*Marie
Hugs to you
I may be living in another country but I can still feel the horror.
Hugs to you and your family.
My 420
Queen J,
Your story took my breath away. I cried for you and your husband, what you went through was unimaginable. Those must have been the worst, most horrible 4 days, waiting to see him again. And to see him again on prom night...oh my. My wish for you is a loooong, happy, healthy, love-filled life together. God bless you both.
Denice
AddictedToCook