CS= crazy Swanny
SS= sane Swanny

Saturday: I am home. I report to my older son about New York and tell him I'm going to Toledo on Sunday. He says, "You officially qualify as a "groupie" now mom. I went to 4 Smashing Pumpkin concerts and one meet and greet in five years, and you've already done that in one year with Dave". Groupie? Me? I'm just a goober mom from Michigan. No way I tell him, most people have done this much and more. He says they're all groupies then and asks when is our Allegan concert? Could he be upset that his brother saw the adopted one before him?

I am exhausted but can't tell Mr. Swanny because he might roll his eyes and say, "But not exhausted enough to drive to Toledo tomorrow, eh?" So I do laundry, ironing, and shopping for his trip overseas. And that's when the freaking t-shirt happens.

I'm walking from Macy's to Nordstrom, suddenly out of nowhere, a Guess sign glows in front of me. I don't shop there but my feet enter and park themselves in front of The Shirt. I think it will look great on Dave. I imagine how his arms will fill out the sleeves, the blue will bring out his eyes... He needs it you know, he does not have enough shirts, so I buy it.

Sunday: I meet crazy4you at our rendezvous and we're off on our third road trip. She and I have gotten so close that we're completely ourselves with each other and crack ourselves up discussing Dave and his various talents. (I tell her I bought Dave a t-shirt). I have made arrangements to meet deegeegd2 at her house. Before we know it, we're there. D is wonderful, and so is her husband, but her dogs steal my heart. Black dogs rule! She hands me my ticket and I kiss it. It's my first real ticket. The previous ones were computer printouts. (I tell her I bought Dave a t-shirt)

The three of us eat lunch at Panera and hang out longer than we planned. Dave fans just can't stop talking! Finally a message from the 4th person in our group makes us move. At the venue, there's a small line of about 30 people. Unbearable heat so they let us in to wait in the colleges halls. Dave might have had something to do with it. They first say cameras are allowed in with us but if it gets excessive, they'll be confiscated. Then they change their minds and say cameras are not allowed because that's their agreement with the artist to which I whisper, bulls***, Dave loves cameras. So some people take their cameras back to their cars. Once inside though, no one cares, no one asks, everyone is filming in front of security and I don't see any problems. So what was that all about?

Nice cool place to wait, nice bathrooms, vending machines. I meet so many people. Sweet JoanieB and her sister arrive, CanadaDCFan is awesome. NLeigh is bored and apparently twitters about it. Khatoun, whom I follow, advises her to come find me to chat. So I go find her. There are 3 young women, early twenties in front of us, two teachers and a photographer and they act like they don't know much about DC. This is important for they're going to be back in this story and this whole thing about pretending one is a casual fan is just perplexing to me. The college has flags from different countries hanging and C4Y gets patriotic on me and wants a photo of herself under the Greek flag. She looks adorable, tiny little woman pointing up to a huge flag. We amuse ourselves with stuff like that. Andrew and dad walk by, we call out and he waves. Then we are let in in small organized groups. Good job Owens. No mad rush.....yet.

We have wonderful seats, second row, 3rd seat from center Nealward. I greet everyone around me, nice Wordnerd Home girls and (tell them I got a t-shirt for Dave).
I save my seat and go to buy merch. I run into adorable little Jamie from GRO. I say, "Hey Jamie, where's your merch table, I want to buy a t-shirt for D and you're not set up" He looks confused and looks for it himself. Then he asks if I've been to their concert before. I tell him that I just saw him fall on his butt at the Nokia. He laughs, asks my name and shakes my hand. We talk some more, I tell him son's girlfriend might have liked him more than David but please don't tell him. He's sweeter than pie. (I don't tell him I bought Dave a t-shirt though)

I buy 2 Daveshiirts and get back to my seat. I tell everyone that I met Jamie. The young'uns go nuts and run out just in case he's still there. ha ha. I love doing that to them.

About GRO: I really liked them, They're young and their sound can't compare to Dave and EEB but still very nice. They have catchy songs. Josh has a nice voice and a good, dry sense of humor. After their set, I bought their CD for $10 and was offered the free demo too. Why it was only $5 at the Nokia is very strange to me. NY is supposed to be more expensive than Toledo, no? They offer to sign my CD and I am glad but I think I really don't need signatures, I'm happy to buy their music, cause I like it and to support these kids. I wonder when I had grown up, New York did that to me? No, I always felt that way, just didn't think it out loud to myself.

Waiting for the concert to start, we see Andrew walking towards us with the photographer girl from the line. One of the three young ones who said they did not know Dave well, sitting right behind us now. Andrew chats with them for a long time. I ask him if he would give Dave something I had for him (the freaking t-shirt) and he flatly says NO! I do understand. He's not supposed to do that. He's not his brothers gofer, I might have a bomb in the pretty bag, etc. We do take a picture with him and that's when I realize SS is right, I don't want to take a picture with him. He's a nice fun kid and I like him but I really don't need a picture with him. I suddenly realize SS and CS do agree on many things.

Andrew hangs around and takes some more pictures. He has a trained smile just like his brother. We ask photographer girl how she found Andrew, and she says nonchalantly, oh I went to school with him. Alrighty then. She also goes berserk and dances around during GRO making Josh notice her and mention her in his banter, and driving Angie behind her nuts! During Dave's set all three of them sing along like they're much more familiar with Dave music than they let on. So I ask myself why pretend you're a casual fan who's here because they had nothing better to do? I can't find an answer.

GRO does a fine job warming us up for David Cook. Josh makes sure we know that's what they're doing every 5 minutes. Then short intermission when I stalk Angie and scare her before getting a warm, fuzzy hug from her. She freaks me out by telling me I'm in her GRO videos. Yikes! My brainz or lack of them IS going to be posted on the internetz. But I forget all that when Dave comes out. KOTN, and we're on our feet. I have warned D that I might get a little crazy but she shocks me with her squee and glee. Suddenly the barricades are down, there's a mad rush and I'm swallowed in it and we're all up front. Cool. We're packed like sardines now but I can see his pores. I think the sound was better a few feet back and I was not looking up his nostrils but I'm glad I can touch him if I extend myself to the fullest, not that I ever will, but if he asks or something.

***Now this being my 4th concert, I was a little more experienced, and did not have "the kids" with me to worry about. I wanted to experience each song deeply, like Dave does, I wanted to be in step with him, not distracted by anything else. This made this concert a totally different experience for me, so beautiful, so fulfilling, so moving. The man is an incredible musician, an incredible singer and he was born to perform. He owns the stage, he owns the songs, he owns me.... I don't know how he does it. Get deep into the song, play the guitar, keep an eye on the audience and their reaction at the same time. This part is going to be quite mushy so you can skip it if you like.

Mr Sensitive kills me DED. He's singing about himself, about me, about all the little sensitive boys. He's there with them. He does a back bend here I think before he beats his guitar. He's mad at people who can't hear Mr Sensitive's screams. His movements, intensity and guitar playing match the feelings the song invokes in me. This is not a song that should make me cry, but I tear up. He breaks the depth of my heartache by coming out to the crowd every now and then, and I need that otherwise, I'll be too lost. I love it and his performance.

WOHWWS: He means it too. I feel embarrassed in front of this song. I feel like someone has just exposed my dishonesty. The song and his interpretation takes me deeper into what kind of honesty he's talking about. I feel he's scared to put it out there completely too, he's holding back because that naked honesty is scary.

TWIK: Be still my heart, and it is. I stand there, with my hands clasped in a prayer, and just breathe, or maybe I don't breathe at all. He is beautiful, he ignores the shouts, he feels the music and the words. His soul is exposed... He looks at me (us) but i don't think he sees one person, it's his world he sees. They have changed something, Neal is doing something back there, but I can't take my eyes off of David. There's a sweet, haunting melody in the background that draws blood. I walk up on high with him and look down and see my world below. I am blown away. His voices pierces my heart. I die and I live again. I wish I knew how to express what I feel.

Heroes: He breaks my trance. I love this song. He's not going to come down, neither am I. I sing along when he wants me to, he approves. I appreciate the band members some, but keep coming back to him again. Boy they sound good. When did they become this good?

Lie: My second death of the night. He's doing something different, sounds like some bells opening his intro to Lie. JoanieB notices it and asks if it's a new song. I say no, he's just setting the mood. I'm still, barely breathing again. I meet him in the song. He's been there, he knows the feeling, he's amused by the shushes but gets back in the mood. The voice kills me, the song kills me. I beg her not to break his heart and just lie lie lie this one time.

Barbasol- I count 1 2 3 4 with him. He flirts, bends and looks at us. I know his trick in this. It's not one person he's looking at, he lets his gaze sweep over everyone so that each thinks he's looking at her. I'm on to you baby! Nothing can stop me from moving and I actually do a pole dance. SS tries to restrain me in vain. It's the beat that gets me with this one more than the lyrics. boom boom boom boom, then there's some guitar sex, the looks between those two are ridiculous! I sing, I dance paying homage to every time over the years I knew just what I had done to deserve it.

Yo Arms: God have mercy! This = rock god. It does. It must have been some kind of kiss. Too much tingling.... SS: settle down, look somewhere else, distract yourself for a second. What?! Im trying to be honest although I'm awake. Dave conducts us in the singalong. I think it's a collective death. I've never died with so many people before. Then he takes it even one more notch up. He goes over to Neal and bumps him several times. What are you doing Dave? Stop that!

Souvenir: another pony! Flove this song, flove the beat, melody and lyrics. Too simple for some, but I flove it. Who walks away from this guy? Impossible. I feel guilty remembering my twenties and walking away, taking a couple of hearts as souvenirs. I apologize to Dave for my past sins.

Straight Ahead: This song used to be an anthem for me in my dark hours of despair last year. I have the chorus printed and taped on my fridge. Its like an old friend. I sing along and mean every word. No where but straight ahead now baby and it looks good. I make circles in the air with my finger and just get lost in it. I start clapping before he asks. Neal makes gorgeous music on his geeetar, Dave's flirting again... stop that baby, I'm too old for all this cuteness.

Declaration: Oh how I love this song. He's perfect. I think of his past year and think, go ahead you declare it darlin'. Thank you for showing me the truth. I love. I bleed. I clap. I tear up. I fall in love with his band-mates and love some more.

Windy: we help him sing without request to do so. For me, this song is about my boys. I set them free and they always come back to me. Wait .. what is this? Andrew's up there, dancing backwards. Silly goose! He's doing backward jumps over imaginary logs. Dave's cracking up some. I sing for him, get louder cause he asks. SS says quiet down your off tune singing is going to be on Angie's video. I ignore her. Ah woo woo woo...... This is so beautiful live, but this means we're going to have to wait now for him to come back to us for the encore.

Light On: The firstborn. It feels soothing, comfortable. Dave was right, every song on the CD is special. There are none I can pass. yeeeeaaaaahhh. He's playing guitar so I point to my head for him. Ok we'll sing along then, we're sure. He folds his arms and looks at me like a stern music director. I'm so skeered, Dave.

ADAM: he's thanking people, it's the last one. Is this the only song without guitar? Not sure. Does he play on every song? hmmm , have to ask about that. Will you sing along? Can I love you more? They all come together and are singing, Mr Sensitive is there, the heart snatcher, the liar, the heroes, the wind in her hair... we're all singing along. I worry about him. How are you going to handle so much love? Please don't let your heart 'plode, baby. Just put it all in new music. I hug myself and squeeze. That's for you Davey. Andrew comes up and they all fool around. Goodbye darlin'

A word about the band: I love the band.

Neal: guitar god. In awe of talent although I don't pine for him like some. Stick with Dave, inked one, always have his back.

Andy: adorable. I love hearing more of his back up singing. I like his voice but am not in love with it, but for some reason it is gorgeous with David's. The two together works at a whole different level.

Kyle: mad talented. I need to do a concert just to watch him. I don't know how anyone else can be better. So animated, so cute, such a joy to watch him. Son adored him in Nokia too.

Monty: he actually did a twirl and at one point was crossing in front of kyle and Dave was backing up so they had a mini collision and giggled. He's getting more comfortable out there. i wanted to shout I love you Monty... next time.

Now to the freaking t-shirt: I still have it with me and that won't do. I've been telling people about it hoping to get advice how to give it to Dave. I have failed with both Andy and Johnny and I understand. I don't want to go the buses, but what choice do I have? I don't want to take the t-shirt back. The stubborn CS is in charge. C4Y, D and I get ourselves to the buses and there's a group of fans there already. We are very happy to chat with JoaniB , Angie and some others. Angie has so many goodies, photos, videos... she is also a nurse, like me, and works full time. i love her even more. We are not comfortable waiting there though, we go back to the venue to see if I can find the event manager at Owens and have her take the burden of that light t-shirt off my hands. No luck. We see Mike, the merch guy counting shirts still at his table. I ask him if he has any booty shorts left. Then on a whim, ask him if he will see Dave and could he give him my little bag. He agrees, but it sounds too easy. SS says you know Dave's not going to get that shirt. CS has doubts too but does not want to carry it any longer. So it goes to Mike. There is a note in there, hoping he likes it and wears it in good health but in return could he please give me my brainz back, keep my heart baby but I need the brainz.

I tell Mike if my friends see him in a blue Guess t-shirts at the coming concerts, we'll know it did not reach its destination, right? He promises. I feel better. It will be good not to think about the freaking t-shirt anymore. Now if Dave wears it one day, it's a different story... I will have to do some more self analysis about why buy him a shirt and angst over giving it to him. Crazy Swanny's work fersure.

We head back home. C4Y and I take turns breaking up and making up with Dave. We're completely drunk on him, no alcohol. I tell her I love her and I mean it. What a friend Dave has given me. How much can I owe this boy?

And thus ends Swanny's latest Daveventure.

I'm hungry now. What's for lunch archucookie?