I have always connected to music, all kinds, for different reasons. And as selfish as this may sound, a song (not even an artist) has to have an emotional connection for me, so I can make it 'my music'. Now I don't want you to think that every song on the "my music" list has to have some deep, religious, earth-shattering revelation to be on that particular list.....there are many songs on "my list" that simple take me back somewhere in my mind to a silly, happy, 'too strange for anyone else but a specific few who were there' place...and then of course, there are the tracks that take me to that devasted moment, that lost moment, that 'how can i even go on' moment....some take me to that "you got this girl' moment and there's even the occasional 'oh all right, i guess i'm gonna have to kick your ass' moments...the point i'm trying to make is that a song has to be more for me....it has to be part of my life's soundtrack,,i have always said that originally a song is the musician's, but when it's released to the world, they are 'giving' it and it's my option to 'receive' it and make it mine....so where am i going with all this rambling? Please allow me a moment more to indulge......
I was/am as excited as the next 'wordnerd' regarding the release of LO.....I read and re-read the lyrics,,interpreting them, imagining dc's voice reading, singing, twisting them to make them his.....then the track was released,,,,i listened on my laptop speakers, my earbuds, my daughter's earbuds,,etc,,,etc,,,,and though i like the song,,,,i couldn't make an emotional connection.....until just a few minutes ago....
this week was alittle different for me, i am a case manager for home health & i love my job and i believe i really do help people, but i have been missing the acute care side of nursing, the element of having to think on your feet, in a millisecond, make a decision that is crucial to another person's life, literally....be that patient' advocate, right then, because there is no 'interdisiplinary team' available right then.....so i said i would 'help out' and worked a couple nights at the hospital....
here is where i made my emotional connection to LO and an adorable, scared, seriously injured 8 year old angel....
I heard the sirens while anwering lights, starting iv's and just generally putting out fires on the floor....sirens, oh God, what's going on? More sirens, oh God this must be a bad one? house supervisor calls..keep your cell phone on you, bridget,,,we may need you down here in ER...theres a bad wreck,,,don't know how many yet...i'll call on your cell.........................
Helicopter.....helicopter? rigs couldn't have made it back here yet and theres the helicopter? oh God,,,,wonder what they taking?..........................................................................
cell phone rings.....need ya bridget, get down here....................................................
shouting, ambu bags, iv fluids,,,,,a woman, a child...a child???? oh, God, help us all out here! cutting clothes, securing c spine, securing airway on woman...xray, lab, more iv fluids....mother stablized, flown out....child has to say goodbye to mother....child staying...
surgery....the child/girl/angel needs surgery.....3 fractures of the left forearm, 3?! right forearm is tore to hell....tendon repair? probably...................................................................
hours later, back on the floor....re-grouping,,,,,phone rings.....child/girl/angel is out of surgery, stable, will be admitted to your floor......no one here with child, new to area,,father died at scene....she doesn't know......no one here for her...........................................................
this beautiful little angel,,,scared, alone, unaware of all the circumstances around her....in pain, in unfamiliar surroundings....alone................Oh God, what do i do? i can't leave her alone.....she is all alone.......What did I do? I stayed with her, I called the superintendent of the school system,,I stayed with her until her teacher came to stay....I left the LIGHT ON in her room...
I went to check on this little child/girl/angel yesterday,,,walked into her room as she was talking to her mother via phone, (after mother had had her 3rd surgery since the mva).....and though i don't know the exact words they shared, but because of the smile 'shining' on that beautiful child/girl/angel's face, i know the theme to their conversation was mutual,,,that they would be leaving the LIGHT ON for each other, until they time they could be together again........
God has blessed me in this situation.....david's song has become one of the ones on 'my list'....it has become a track in my life's soundtrack.......that too is a blessing for me.......
good day ya'll & God Bless