MEMO TO THE CPT – WEBNERDS DIVISION

Re: Denial of access to DC Version 3.0 (Light On Module)

Firstly, some stats for you. Current Global Internet Usage statistics indicate that in the English language group alone, there are approximately 430.8 million users of the internet. Of these, approximately 207 million users are located in the United States of America.

That leaves 223 million internet users outside of the USA that currently have limited or NO access to DC Version 3.0 (Light On Module) because of someone’s decision to NOT sell it electronically outside of the USA.

I could not possibly understand this marketing decision and why as a result, I have been precluded from buying DC Version 3.0 (Light On Module) until the news of the crash of the SONY BMG Internet Database server hit the airwaves (hey, way to go word nerds!). And then it came to me – you guys are saving up for a bigger server and you can’t possibly risk the rest of the world buying the Light On Module as it would lead them to DCO. Okay, I get it. Good call. I think.

Therefore, it is my pleasure to inform you that I have A$1.29 (US$0.99) available to contribute to the SONY BMG Bigger Server Fund, money that I would otherwise have spent procuring the Light On Module.

Yours sincerely,

lovecookies

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smooth seas do not turn captains into heroes...

This thread is all versions of AWESOME...

Mac will be missed! Still operating the DC system from iPhone, Bonnie?

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If I Must, Then I Must...

User report: 10/02/08
Issue: ODCD contributed to death of Macintosh

Report: User reports failure of Macintosh to reboot after playing of 'Don't say a word, that I wouldn't say. Just crumble it up, and throw it away." User reports that this song was not intended to be taken literally, but that constant repeats and reloads led to computer breakdown. Laptop was showing evidence of becoming sentient, randomly turning it's apple light on, and growling/purring in sleep mode.

User also reports suspicion that CPU was slogged by repeated blogging and posting in DCO, DC-org and PB, site where there is known to be overheated activity and uncontrolled swooning.

Recommendation: Refer ailing Macintosh to Apple Genius.

Report: User reports completion of task. Laptop was taken to TAS to be examined. Evidence was found of an overworked and fragmented drive that required partitioning. Repeated reboots proved fatal and the drive was declared DOA. However, there were fragmented tones coming from the drive as it was removed from the housing, and user reports hearing the following:
"We've been here before; We'll be here again so go on and rest your head. Before you lose it again."

User also reports the suspicion that DC apparel may have contributed to the CPU's state of mind and to the overwillingness of the Genius to accommodate the drive in it's diminished condition.

Final verdict: Repair and reload of software, including DC version 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0, plus the THH plugins and NTiemann 2000 upon receipt of new drive, effective 10/7/08. More reports to follow as necessary.

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Bonnie BS , dubbed "Miss Bonnie"
proud practicing word nerd
"Your words, they hide behind your age; My words, they sing you this song. . .
One step over to step/ You're wise beyond your eyes." Balance, Axium

southpaw, I was thinking back to your post - there was NO WAY it was ever going to be a Vista Experience – the CPT, with Cook at the helm knew there was no compelling reason to change – their winning version was working just fine with mass appeal across all demographics and locations.

The alternative review may have gone something like this:

Ex-Boy-Band-Member Package Specification (Vista Experience Suite):
--Extracted from a Core 6 Piece Combination (combined IQ-97)
--125MegaWatt Smile with Larger Than Life Glossy Finish
--12 MB RAM with volatile access in situations requiring large amounts of brain power
--No Performance Upgrades but Recyclable Songs and Dance moves every 7-10 years
--Integrated Lip-sync Module
--Homogenous and Repetitious Motion and Beat simulations
--Homogenous and Repetitious Sound Variants and Quality
--Homogenous and Repetitious External Packaging
--Ultra Thin Veneer of Integrity
--Application support for product endorsements, freebies, and highly choreographed live interfaces.

Known problems:
--Zero Manliness Configuration Utility
--Weak and Pathetic Voice Driver
--Inability to conduct interview format linked to low IQ allocation
--The “I’m Really Talented On My Own” patch caused incompatibility issues with the logic drivers.
--Musical Instrument Devices won’t work due to lack of any skilled drivers
--Some features hard to find, especially Meaningful Lyrics, Unique Voice, Individuality, and Relevance to Anything.
--Not enough shut down functions: needs more than just “Sod Off” “Shut Up” “WTF?” “Hibernate For Winter” “GAAH” “Switch Permanent User” and “Get A Life”.
--Interferes with the receiving system’s ability to recognize musical innovation external to the immediate environment
--The repeated crashing of the receiving system due to problems with mind-numbing boredom, irritation, disbelief, gag reflex, and a large fork sticking in the ear.

To be fair, the blame can be attributed mostly to aging music company executives and third–party vendors for not knowing what defines charisma and talent, and for thinking they have the right to tell users their requirements.

Known solutions:
--Wipe the EBBM OS off the hard drive
--shred all related marketing material, posters, and articles
--delete all related YouTube favorites
--uninstall EBBM Voice Modules from ITunes followed by an immediate sync to the portable storage device to remove any possibility for continued usage
--burn disc storage and User Manuals (Lyrics)

Recommendation:
--install DC Version 3.0 (Light On Module) immediately
--Upgrade to the full DC Version 3.0 (The Record Suite) upon November Release.
--Sign up to the DCO and related user networks for excellent ODCD enablers.

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smooth seas do not turn captains into heroes...

Regarding LC's report on spontaneous failure of the Fantasy Upgrade after TWIK input, I filed this comment at AI, confirming incompatibility of TWIK and that module:

It's just that the transcendence thang sort of fries my hardware a little bit. On accounta the ... unbearable lightness of being, and all. And every time I try to reboot, TWIK keeps popping up on the screen and everything gets all... glowy... again. (Then I have to put, like, Creep on the iPod for a while, and stop looking at the screen altogether.) And after THAT, I get dizzy and have to lie down. Then TWIK pops up. Then Leno ToML. Then WalMart ToML. And then I float away. Either that, or take some Dramamine.

I think my CPU needs an upgrade before release of DC v. 3.0. To quote chief developer of DC suite, "I can't process it."

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I laugh at myself while the tears roll down....

Very well written, lovecookies. Keep it up.

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Bonnie BS , dubbed "Miss Bonnie"
proud practicing word nerd
"Your words, they hide behind your age; My words, they sing you this song. . .
One step over to step/ You're wise beyond your eyes." Balance, Axium

Lovecookies, this user is laughing so hard there are actual tears...which could, of course, endanger the hardwiring to the keyboard - I suggest a consumer warning to preface this report. Maybe in RED? Also, this users mascara is not waterproof. I see a necessary cosmetic upgrade prior to further reading.

(Really? Caused it to explode?)

Incipit9
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"Expect the Unexpected." tm WTF!Cook

word_nerd teacher, I think you are right about those programmers. They need to down photo-shop tools immediately and access the flow-chart of DC hotness (known previously as the THUD Picture Thread) to revise all its acceptable iterations of rock-god imagery.

In the meantime, I find my cork board with All Right Now poster a useful image substitutiion when access to the Fantasy Module through sleep mode is not possible.

Somewhere in my DC project files I have a previous analysis of test results for the Fantasy Upgrade package... I'll have to dig it out.

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smooth seas do not turn captains into heroes...

I'm experiencing a full-on virus in my operating system at the moment. Once the Light on sequence has been run, there is a slight delay in processing time before the "Belinda Carlisle - Leave A Light On For Me" virus installs itself directly into the sub-conscious output stream and then plays on an endless loop even after the CPU has been shut down for the night. It's extremely annoying. The only fix I've found is a temporary one - re-install DCV3.0 (Light On Module)... which then re-introduces the BC-LALOFM virus. Gaaahh!!!
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smooth seas do not turn captains into heroes...

I discovered a random "bug" in my operating system: when user puts the computer to sleep, it initiates a play sequence that runs LO continuously. However, it not only operates on the Mac, but infiltrates the user's brain. To jump from lovecookies' comment earlier, the said bug annihilates Midnight in Chelsea from previous bongiovi_destinationanywhere run sequence. This user's subconscious hasn't been able to eradicate that bug for over ten years.

Kudos to the new bug. However, it is still disturbing to wake from a sound sleep and want to turn over and switch on the light.

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Bonnie BS , dubbed "Miss Bonnie"
proud practicing word nerd
"Your words, they hide behind your age; My words, they sing you this song. . .
One step over to step/ You're wise beyond your eyes." Balance, Axium

Side note: DC2.0(AI related) suites hinted at, if said is realized, retronumerical sequence to be activated, DCChik2.1, DCRM2.2, DCMJ2.3, DCKLC2.4, DCCS2.5, DCBW2.6, DCJC 2.7, DCSM2.8, and DCDA2.9. However, DCSM2.8 reported to be optional.

Variations of this program suite line heavily requested by customers prior to summer release of individual apps but TPTB failed, in an epic manner, to respond to demand despite the fact DCDA2.9 already developed and beta tested. Here's hoping CPT picks up the ball!

Field tech reports indicate the existence of a bridge version of DCv1.5, designed to bypass DCv2.0 and be compatible with DCv3.0. This module was not Beta tested by the CPT, although some specs were released, and future support is not scheduled as of this date.

This user acknowledges the comment above, and queries others in the beta testing group regarding any available information on this near-mythical iteration, DC v1.5 (EtaCarinae version). I have only been able to view an incomplete run of the "Optimistic To a Fault" sub-program, which worked impressively before aborting itself. Efforts to find a complete package version have proved futile, producing a high frustration level in light of the satisfying experiences delivered by the original v1.0 (also known as DCAxium) and v.1.3 (AnalogHeart upgrade).

Rumors persist that some elements of v1.5 will be incorporated in the final roll-out of v3.0, but these rumors remain completely unconfirmed. Hints regarding possible future incorporation of the AC module into the DC platform, as mentioned below, are enticing but also preliminary at this point. The CPT has managed to maintain product confidentiality quite effectively outside of periodic official bulletins. (See the "white album," "twists and turns" and "my best work ever" memos for details.)

As a side note, I must congratulate the user Made on the thoroughness of her test report, and encourage others to continue to share experiences in this forum. Only through user input can the CPT gauge acceptance levels for future product enhancements.

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I laugh at myself while the tears roll down....

Just got back from overnight batch processing (of me!) to find this!! ROFLMAO!!! Thank you!!!
If I could quote with ease I would mention everything, but I just have to publicly *giggle-snort* at these: Video Enhancement (Oh, you're good!!!)!! A secret WTF!CookV4.0!! DCV1.0 plug ins!! Rudimentary iPod Touch app! So many more - too many to mention. Gonna print the thread for later enjoyment cause my sister won't give me enough "run time" on her computer.

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smooth seas do not turn captains into heroes...

NOTE:

Field tech reports indicate the existence of a bridge version of DCv1.5, designed to bypass DCv2.0 and be compatible with DCv3.0. This module was not Beta tested by the CPT, although some specs were released, and future support is not scheduled as of this date.

In view of the trade rumors of upgrades rolling DC v3.0 to a fully functional DCv4.0, Users who prefer the experience of DCv1.0 are advised to acquire the latest DCv4.0 module on 11/18, with the full set of plug-ins.

Incipit9

As per the rumors of the Josh Center Percussion Module, it can only be queried by multiple users whether the CPT can install and attest to the multi-functionality of the JCPM. One wonders if there is a site-based conflict or if it is a question of language and interpretation? In the 3.0 modality, the JCPM might not affect the overall market analysis, but further research would most likely determine the JCPM is key to upgrading to DC4.0.

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Bonnie BS
dubbed "Miss Bonnie"
high school English teacher, proud practicing word nerd

"Your words, they hide behind your age; My words, they sing you this song. . .
And I fall from this tightrope/ That you've walked a thousand times
One step ove

This is GENIUS! DC v3 beta release has fully surpassed my expectations, completely glitch free for me, running smoothly and improving with each run. It has tested well on multiple interfaces. This bodes well for the actual v3 launch come November 18th.

Since I am unfamiliar with the MWK OS, I've been too stuck on the DC OS, I'm eagerly anticipating the AndySkib_THH and the Tiemann2000 plugins. I'd like to see (hear) how these plugins complement or enhance the DC OS.

TechGeeks unite! ROFL!!

LMAO, lovecookies!

I'm hearing lots of reports of male user satisfaction with the new Voice package. Hoping this isn't merely anecdotal and is indeed a trend!

This user is also pleased with the performance of DCLOv3.0 and I eagerly await for the 9/30 upgrade and the 11/18 release of the fully functional version. I have managed to develop my own rudimentary iPod Touch app in order to run DCLOv3.0 temporarily in advance of the 9/30 upgrade.

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"Light On" -- This ain't no Magic Rainbow.

*tears of laughter streaming down face...cannot type .... any...more*

This user thinks that production of DCLOv.3.0 was outsourced overseas. UA Testing and QA was definetly bypassed and no analyzis of home based market research was completed. Users of this app. who fully appreciate the potential of this program should have been included in the Beta and Pilot program prior to deployment. (lol snort, snort)

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ana WN#:181
He bends and he breaks. If you give they will take away. His passion, his pain, his grace.
He exhales, A thousand black flowers explode into butterflies as they're away.
They crush him Leave nothing that resembles the soul of the man.

Lovecookies, that would be one of the funniest posts I've ever read anywhere -- okay, it's hilarious on its own merits and I'm the one person in 10,000 who is actually laughing out loud while posting LOL -- except that you're talking about someone who comes across as unprogrammable.

My initial reaction to "Light On" was that there was a good deal of marketing thought behind it, but the more I hear it, the more I suspect that it's just intelligently made and not so strategic or programmed as all that.

Why? Because if there had been marketing pressure to be something David's not, it would logically have been in one or both of two directions:

--Go Adult Contemporary, in the manner of Daughtry. There would have been substantial fan support for that, based on the popularity of "Always Be My Baby" and the asteroid song; and it would be easy to come up with the numbers to justify that for the debut piece that absolutely, positively has to sell sell sell. Stylistically, "Light On" isn't utterly hostile to AC play (that would have been foolhardy, given that you never know how DJs will react to the AI connection), but it leans much more strongly toward modern rock.

--Go for lyrics that don't require a code book, a guide to literary criticism, and possibly a deck of Tarot cards to figure out what they might mean. Like much of AH, "Light On" is ambiguous; it picks up layers of meaning where you least expect and shifts meaning depending on how you angle it. Good modern rock -- heck, good art in general -- does that; but that's not the safe, programmed choice.

AH dates from when David was what, 22? 23? It's way too nuanced and musically sophisticated for that age; it's so tempting to want him to freeze there -- or to freeze at something startling like the reworking of "Always Be My Baby" -- because those are places much more mature and experienced musicians never get to. But I think what we're seeing with "Light On" isn't a lot more complicated than someone continuing to grow up and gain experience.

I dunno. While what caught my attention on AI was primarily style, the reason I voted for David was not for what he'd done, but for what he was going to do, and the reason that mattered to me was that I don't know what that's going to be. There are not so many people you can count on to surprise you.

I'm not saying that it's necessary to uncritically embrace everything David comes up with -- there are AI performances about which I can be scathing enough that I'd get booed off the board if I tried it -- but since there *always* seems to be more where that came from, I wouldn't worry that "Light On" defines anything permanent, not even the sound of the whole album.

I recommend that users who are concerned regarding the interoperability of the AndySkib_THH and Tiemann2000 plug ins should locate a computer running the legacy system MWK v2.0. Though future support for the MWK OS remains in question, the prior iteration still runs well on many platforms and demonstrates the full compatibility of the AndySkib and Tiemann modules with previous versions of DC, notably DC v1.0.

Though DC v2.0 (AI version) did not offer these plug-ins, probably due to significant risk of bugs caused by evolution from DC v1.0 to v2.0, DC v3.0 has reportedly transcended these issues and will once again be able to provide a seamless experience when the AndySkib and Tiemann plug-ins are installed. Since the programs provide important audio enhancements, users can only rejoice that the CPT has decided to continue to support this complementary software. (Please note that these plug-ins can also run in tandem, independently of the DC program.)

The CPT has stated that the goal is to provide the "best ever" DC experience for the user. This user can only applaud the team for maintaining this objective.

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I laugh at myself while the tears roll down....

DCV3.0 beta running smoothly, no bugs detected. Hardware limitations don't allow full audio capacity to be heard at this time. 9.29.08 purchase upgrade will allow program to run on higher quality sound system.
Microsoft, watch out!

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watching... waiting...

WTH?? I just read that whole thing and MY HEAD IS SPINNING!!!!!!

Too funny!! Now dont do that to me again!!

Smiley

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"To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected."