ZERO HOUR - A Fan Report of Totally Accurate Truth
Joined: Sep 2008
Boston, MA
Monday, November 17, 2008 - 21:01
ZERO HOUR - A Fan Report of Totally Accurate Truth
ZERO HOUR - A Fan Report of Totally Accurate Truth
by kaydeecee
ACT 1: The Fans
The time is 11 PM, Monday, November 17, 2008
Some fans of DAVID COOK are gathered around a flaming bonfire on this chill November eve.
Fan 1: "B*tches. The day is FINALLY here. It is all happening."
This way to the >>>> Zero Hour!!!
Comments for this Forum Topic
Bump, bump. Must read Fan Report Addendum below.
Saturday November 22
Fan Report Addendum
Watching the VH1 Countdown:
Fan 1: I told you it was a masterpiece.
Fan 2: You said it was a disaster that would crush his career like a puppy under a humvee.
Fan 1: I may have overreacted.
Fan 3, sighing happily: Cook is a god.
Fan 4: Waves big foam Number One hand.
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kaydeecee
Totally Accurate Fan Reports and Other Mischief at www.davidcookofficial.com/user/kaydeecee | Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
cece; that was a good line because it it also true
plethoraofwords: he looked at you and he could sense it. Its delicious fryable scent. He could hear you sizzle.
Make no mistake my friend. David Cook is no Innocent (which also he can sing in studio but not live). He knows about Bacon.
stillrockin1 - The Hillary story gets better and better, especially imagining Cook being tackled by Secret Service
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kaydeecee
Totally Accurate Fan Reports and Other Mischief at www.davidcookofficial.com/user/kaydeecee | Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
OK, saw R&K this am and heard about Hilary calling friends to vote for David. Too bad she wasn't elected, David could have played the Inaugural Ball. Can't you just picture Hil and Bill getting down to Bar-ba-sol? Maybe Bill would join in on the Sax. That's got to be story material. I'm thinking alternate universe here. Hmmm.
O.K. I just got back from where ever it is I always go and what do I find, all this glorious stuff here on DCO. Total overload of great Cook s*** and more hilarity from KDC. Bring it on. But I will never be able to catch up with everything.
KDC, do you realize that, like a jerk, I wandered around at HRC on the First Night of David Cook saying "BACON" to tables full of total strangers??!!! Yeah...and they looked at me like I was a total jerk, too. Even after I explained the "Teal Drapes" part. Needless to say, I never found any of you. And me, all decked out in red and black. But David Cook gave my outfit the eyeball from up on stage. HA!
I can't believe I missed this yesterday -- so much DCTR Release TuesDave action I couldn't keep up!
Just wanted to send my props out to you on another HILARIOUS Fan Report. I love, love, love them! And that's no lie, lie, lie (too much of a stretch? I know, lame. I need practice with the snark and my husband doesn't seem to appreciate me using him as a guinea pig).
Favorite quote (so hard to choose!): "The storm clouds of . . . mediocrity! And cynicism and Clear Channel and everything on my radio s*cking." AMEN! Can't wait for the next installment.
Now I'm suddenly picturing a dolphin riding a bus from Las Vegas with a guitar case slung over one fin
Symbolizing . . . all of us, all year.
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
Rumor has it that one particular fan who is fond of fish taquitos is buying him a dolphin tank for the back yard of the house where DC lives with Neal and Andy. In case, you know, DC feels like entertaining a dolphin guest.
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FolkFan: I think, ∴, I read the TWoP DCO thread.
stillrockin1
Goggle eyes! That IS awesome idea! But after yesterday, what are we gonna (imaginarily) going to get him, a Mars Lander?
OMG, what sort of stuff are well-meaning real fans going to come up with? What world-ending combination of baked goods, glitter, cross-stitched images of David's face and mind-wiping references to their own underwear!
I don't think I want to know, but I probably won't be able to keep from peeking! No fan noooooo! His fans love him, though. That is the good part.
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
kaydeecee, I hope you're working on David's Birthday Celebration. I'm thinking costume party, pony rides and a martini luge. No clowns though, they scare the crap out of me. Let me know if you need more ideas, I'm a great party planner.
In honor of Tuesdave.
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
That was fantastic.
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FolkFan: I think, ∴, I read the TWoP DCO thread.
I feel like I should have found a way to work "Robot Light On" into all this . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zyLyzJ3-Gg
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
AngelaTarantula and archucookie (the person with the BRAVEST user name of all): thanks so much!
I totally write these for you my crazy fan peers, so the poz feedback keeps me rolling!
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
KDC I was waiting at the big clock when I read your post. I spewed my coffee like the premature emancipation of "David Cook" at itunes. Too glorious for words (your post, I mean) I can (hardly) pick favorite parts..
embedded in the obscure dirt of Tulsa . ."
and made out with ALL of them!"
Cook blushes:
Andy, pissed: "They are NOT my sister's pants."
Jay Leno keeps sending me Private Messages, it's kind creepy."
Skib: "Are you going to cry now?"
Cook: "Yes, b*tch, I am."
Pleeeezzz Keep em comin'
Kaydeecee- My sister (who I am successfully Cookifying) is having me send her news bulletins everyday about whatever is going on in Cooktardistan, specifically so that she can understand your 'Fan Reports'.
Her comment today on this one: 'This is beyond clever. She should be a screen writer'.
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AngelaTarantula
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm never going to catch up with the actual David Cook news these days, am I?
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
Folkfan: dammit, they're inconsistent aren't they. Well I'm just going to pretend the dudes can easily bend time and space
What minstrel says: I AM the wormhole
becky : Ooooh shiny is what I SO often think
daenarys: dude your total meltdown post yesterday was hilarious
pweller7 I like bars
rabbitfighter: it might be scary
justforme2 Eww
leastlikely if it is David Cook it must be EPIC
Kimberly: cause you're a nut?!?
aliroo126, Sarah34 Hi Five!
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
jayelgee1
Hey! That was a GREAT time at the Hard Rock. I really enjoyed talking with you and Richard. I actually looked for your profile when I got back but I thought it was "JLG"
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
Thanks Michelle, Kellie and Finn
even the ninjas
stillrockin1 -- Aww the Fug girls, they are hillarious
kcgeek4vocab - I secretly believe all of it took place as well
yaminacookie -- You know I am a one time comic book geek, right? I wonder if any of these guys ever read any Cerebus the Aardvark
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
great job [again] KDC! Hilarious!
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~ michelle ~
www.myspace.com/shake_your_jelly
I would totally take a class from you. You rock so hard.
Bravo! And Encore!
OMG! I have been laughing again so hard that I got tears running my face and stomach hurt.. This is just awesome! I so wish David would read these, cause with his grrrrreat sense of humor, I think he would enjoy these too!
You are my absolute favourite writer here
Finn
I'm sitting here laughing hysterically with tears streaming down my face. The cat thinks I'm a nut job, what does he know anyway. Keep up the great posts, I can use the laughs. BTW, have you ever read any of the posts at http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/ ? You could write for them, they get me laughing so hard I get wheezy.
Is it wrong that I completely believe this "business-y" meeting actually DID take place, albeit not at the exact date and time mentioned?!? Such is your pitch-perfect gift for dialogue, kaydeecee! I bow before your mad word(nerd) skillz.
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You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
How about comic book versions of kaydeecee stories, yes? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Yay! Awesome night. Happy zero night everyone.
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
Kay - Just fantastic! Great meeting you last week at the HR - can't believe it is already almost a week gone. So, now I go to stand by the Big Clock. ( you should write sketches for SNL!)
Janice
KDC - love your riffs. I am trying to stay up to midnight just to BE PRESENT at the moment!
YOU ARE WAY TOO FUNNY!
karen
Thank you for a wonderful and funny read on this exciting night. I love your cook and eeb episodes. K
*(&^ing awesome, as always! When it comes to supporting David Cook, some statistically significant percentage of the fun has to do with how rockin' awesome his fans are!! And you, m'dear, are at the top of the heap.
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pcubed
Genius. Hilarious. I wasn't expecting less from you. Thank you.
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Emma - WordNerd #3060
sigh. kdc .. you never disappoint....
what's peculiar is that I think in an alternative but equally viable universe... thinks happen... just... that... way....
and you are, like, the wormhole between that universe and this one. awesome responsibility, weedhopper. use it well.
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I laugh at myself while the tears roll down....
....*still gasping*.....*wipes tears*...
O lordy, what would we do without you kdc? I so TOTALLY want that 'bussinessy meeting' to happen that way! The story of 5 goobers from the midwest embarking on their RawkStah journey - the Shiny!One, the Dark Skibblet, the Zen Tiemann, the Sweet Clementine, and the Animal. It's going to be Epic! And probably a howler all the way....LOL.
Aww. I love you guys. Am already sipping the chardonnay so I won't call you each out separately, but I definitely write for the fan love--well, maybe a little for the evil glee
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kaydeecee
Past mischief
TWOP Refugees: Totally Irrational Fan Number One Gross
BAHAHAHA!! I love this Kaydeecee! I would like to sit at a bar with you and a few of your friends sometime! You are so interesting and fun!
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I wish I could spend just an hour in that insane, amazing brain of yours. That was just genius!
I definitely had a good laugh with reading that; thanks for sharing it =)
You owe me a new keyboard. Or at least a spray bottle of that cleaner stuff since I just spit soda all over mine.
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